Listen to the author reading this blog post.
By Liz Walter
Today’s post looks at some of the phrases we use when bad things happen to people. It appears that we must be very judgmental, since there are many more phrases for saying that a person deserves what happened to them than there are for being sympathetic!
If you think that someone caused the bad thing to happen, you could say It’s your (own) fault! or You only have yourself to blame:
You’ve lost your credit card? Well it’s your own fault for keeping it in your coat pocket.
Her brother won’t talk to her but she only has herself to blame – she was so unkind to him.
When we think that someone’s bad fortune is fair because of their own bad behaviour, we might say that it serves them right, they got what they deserved or that they deserve everything they get:
He was really rude to that customer. It would serve him right if he lost his job.
She can’t complain about being banned from the club. She got what she deserved.
The fans insulted him, but after the way he behaved, he deserved everything he got.
Using more idiomatic phrases, we could also say that someone gets their comeuppance or their just deserts, or more informally that they had it coming (to them):
She upset a lot of people, but she got her comeuppance in the end.
When the judge handed him a 12-year jail sentence, most people thought he’d got his just deserts.
I’m not surprised someone hit him. He had it coming to him.
The unsympathetic phrase you’ve made your bed, now lie in it means that someone should accept the results of their own choices and actions, even if they are unpleasant:
It’s tough having four small children, but you’ve made your bed, now lie in it.
Karma, a concept from religions such as Buddhism, is sometimes used in general speech to refer to the idea that a person’s actions influence what happens to them. Idiomatic ways of expressing this are you reap what you sow and what goes around comes around:
He broke his arm? Well, that’s karma!
None of her children came to the hospital to see her, but I guess you reap what you sow.
You shouldn’t be surprised that your colleagues won’t support you. What goes around comes around, you know.
Of course, you may want to be kinder, in which case, you could tell the person concerned that it’s not their fault, they are not to blame or that they don’t deserve (any of) this. The range of kinder options is much smaller though – let me know if you can think of any others!
For instance, we can reassure a person by saying to them something like ‘these things happen’, ‘it’s just one of those things, don’t worry’ or ‘no worries, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles’.
Leave a pely
Great but complex and confusing for new learners.
karma its a concept that I like to learn and I love the way the text talks about it
No, bad fortune is never fair. Otherwise, we won’t say it’s bad. We say bad fortune because we feel so sad. Please be careful of basic logic when teaching the most useful and beautiful language in the world.
I’m not sure if it’s more American English, but I’ve heard of “It is what it is” or “there’s nothing you could’ve done” “sometimes things just go wrong”
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Thank you for your post! I definitely have learned some new phrases such as comeuppance, you reap what you sow and just desserts. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone saying that, haha. As for your question, I think we could also say something like it’s not on you or don’t beat yourself up about it.
Very nice
Very useful & informative to enrich your English vocabulary.
Very helpful, thanks.
Isn’t the phrase just desserts? I don’t think an arid landscape is what you were referring to.
The expression “just deserts” (spelt with one ‘s’) originates from the 16th century and is derived from the Old French verb deservir, meaning “to deserve”. It refers to receiving the fitting reward or punishment one merits, with “deserts” acting as a noun for that which is deserved.
Etymology: It shares a root with “deserve”, stemming from the Latin deservire (“to serve well”).
very interesting! thank yoou! <3
highly educational, very enlightening, thank you